As a visual learner I love discovering new ways that describe the previously indescribable.
This is what my 'Guilt Chip' looked like.
Three years ago I found an image to describe the feeling of guilt that was at my core. It was amazing! As soon as I found an image I was able to describe so much more about the feeling and what was associated with that feeling.
I have tried out several talking therapies and it was in a Hypnotherapy session that I came up with this image. I didn't write any notes during the session, but was compelled to draw a mind map of what I had articulated, felt and thought.
It did the trick and got me out of the hole I was in and the mind map stayed on my office wall. It was only three years later did I realize that I had started talking about my 'guilt chip' in the past tense. This prompted me to look again at that mind map with fresh eyes. I realized that although my 'guilt chip' had now stopped being a major driver for my thoughts and feeling, the drivers that I had described in the session were still very much in evidence. I have come to realize that an imbalance in my approach to life was getting me into holes that were hard to get out of. This was one of the triggers that helped me to decide to embark on a learning journey to increase my self awareness, challenge automatic responses, and ultimately to
'replace the operating system in my head'.
(Thank you Derek Sivers suggesting this phrase in the July 2011 "Anything You Want" Duct Tape Marketing Podcast.)
Albert Einstein famously said:
"Insanity = doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."
And this is what I had been doing over and over again, focusing on getting out of my hole rather than really understanding what got me in the hole in the first place.
I have made a choice to approach life in a different way and it is already making a huge difference to how I see myself and how I respond to others, I am looking forward to learning more about what makes me me as I continue to craft a new operating system in my head over the coming months.